Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
