No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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