The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
