By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he's gonorrhea incarnate
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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