you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
