I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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