I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
