you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
