You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
