Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
