I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
