omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's always time for handjobs
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
