I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
