i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
