you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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