no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
