I feel like abortions should bother me more
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
