God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
