Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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