so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
