and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Panties = found
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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