she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
