the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
