What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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