wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
