put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
