the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
