he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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