you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
