I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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