I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need to sanitize my soul.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
