hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
