and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
