I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
