Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
