sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
