I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
