At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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