She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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