why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
