in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
