So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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