Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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