he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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