Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
