dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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