That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
