having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
