My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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