This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
